


Never Forget

by Ti_03



Category: Just Roll With It (Podcast), jrwi
Genre: Character Death, Father-Son Relationship, Fergus (Just Roll With It), Grief/Mourning, Major Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27890362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ti_03/pseuds/Ti_03
Summary: SPOILERS FOR JRWI CONVERGENCE EPISODE 5 CITY OF NIGHTMARESAlastyr Cross, a bright kid he was. Kasper was a forgetful man sometimes, but with a kid like him? How could someone forget that arsonist?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	Never Forget

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR JRWI CONVERGENCE EPISODE 5 CITY OF NIGHTMARES  
> This death is not canon but like just a thought, ya know. :)
> 
> Also TW: slight graphic description, but I tried not to go into it.

Kasper examined the white lab coat, looking for any red or dirt that he may have missed. If this coat belonged to someone else, he wouldn’t take such extensive care over it. However, he felt like this was the least he could do for him; keeping it white and clean. The kid would be happy with keeping his belongings clean. 

He carefully folded the coat and placed it on his bed, grabbing a pair of lensless goggles that was shining and clean and placed it on top of the coat. Next, he went over to his bag to pull out a few glass flasks and a clean rag. He sat on the bed and began polishing the flasks. 

Kasper softly hummed an unknown tune-it sounded like the MaCock Mix-as he handled the flasks and tubes as gently as he could and left no fingerprints. 

_So young, I should’ve done more._

**_He would still be alive if you had protected him better._ **

_Just a kid._

He felt a sharp pain in his palm and looked down at it, seeing a crushed flask and glass pieces stabbing into the skin of the closed fist. _“Shit.”_ He cursed before getting up to treat his wound. That was the third one he had broken. He didn’t have an unlimited supply anymore. 

* * *

It was a comforting silence as he walked over to the cemetery, hands behind his head and looking up into the partially cloudy sky. A leather bag slung over his shoulder and inside were small sounds of _clanks_ here and there. 

He smiled at the warm sun on his face, closing his eyes as he basked in it. There was no reason to open them. He knew this road by heart now. He didn’t want to open his eyes. 

He can hear the kid’s excited voice and with his eyes closed he could imagine him walking side by side. 

_“You’re a good kid, Alastyr.”_

**_Then why did you let him die?_ **

_“You’re safe, I won’t let you die again.”_

**_How many times have you broken that promise to him?_ **

Kasper stopped in his tracks as he stood a couple of feet in front of a grave, flowers carefully placed in front of the stone along with a snuffed out candle. The others must have stopped by without him to pay their respects. 

Kasper sat himself in front of the stone, grabbing the candle and allowing a spark or two to come out and light the candle. 

_“Fire magic-it comes from your core-so you’ve gotta feel it...”_

_“..got to channel your energy into it...”_

Kasper rubbed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. “I really wished everything wasn’t so broken up.” He murmured to himself, waiting for the dull pain to fade and shutting his eyes. He tried to imagine the kid leaning on the gravestone and hugging it to his chest, talking to Kasper about a dream he once had or perhaps more about fire magic to help the lonely human. When he opened his eyes, he shook his head at his own disappointment. _He’s gone, just like your memories._

He began to unpack the items from the bag, taking the white and pristine lab coat and unfolding it, draping the garment around the stone like as if it was a child about to play out in the snow. “Sorry for taking your stuff, kid, but I didn’t want it to get stolen by someone.” He said then he carefully took the vials and flasks out and checked once more for dirty prints or if there was water inside. “These things of yours are what’s keeping me from forgetting you though.” Added, pulling the goggles out and putting it in front of the stone. 

Kasper hugged one of his legs to his chest, chin placed on top of his knee as he read the name on the stone over and over again. He read it like he was trying to process what was written. A part of him didn’t want to believe. However, the kid died only a couple of feet in front of him as he was too late to treat or stabilize his wounds. He stared down at the glass equipment on the grave, reminding himself that he can’t just continue to break items. He scratched his palm, finding the white bandages and the deep cut uncomfortable wrapped in white bandages. 

“I hope you won’t get sick of me.” He murmured, reading the name on the gravestone. He read the name over and over, his vision slowly getting blurrier as he traced every line of the letter with his eyes. “I know you won’t but I just..I feel like the least I could do, now that you’re..” he blinked his stinging eyes and his throat felt small and tight. “Now that you’re gone,” he sniffled. “I should come and visit you, sort of keep you company. I know you don’t like being alone. I can’t leave you alone in the afterlife.” 

He looked at the lab coat, as if he was expecting an elf with blond hair and goggles on top of his head to be standing there. He wasn’t sure if he was still in denial now. He knew that the kid was dead, but why did he hope so much that Alastyr would pop up and everything would be okay?

He took his glasses off of his head and looked down at the finger print smeared lenses. “I didn’t think I would feel this empty, especially after Strangle’s death. Maybe if he were alive, he would’ve done better at keeping you alive than I was.” He rambled, startled at the vague and blurry memories of the two in a dark and damp sewer. Kasper had taken out his dagger, grabbing the kid’s red and swollen arm. He was reluctant when Alastyr was struggling, trying to make up his mind and staring between the human and Fergus. 

_Kasper watched the skin underneath move under Alastyr’s arm, undoubtedly causing the elf some pain or horror._

_Attempting to calm him down, he gently spoke to him and said, “Hold on Alastyr, this is going to be a pinch.”_

_Wide eyes looked at him, taking a small moment before a high pitched and worried, “Alright,” left his mouth._

_Kasper cut into the arm as swiftly as he could, hoping it would be a clean cut. He reached for those tendrils, yanking them out of Alastyr’s arm and throwing it across the room. He heard a thud hit the sewer floors and it didn’t sound like Fergus._

_The rest was a blur, but he could hear his voice speaking softly and fading away. “Hey, I would never let you die, Alastyr.”_

A drop of water dripped onto his glasses, bringing him out of the memory he saw and back to the unfortunate present. He looked up at the clear blue sky, feeling the sun on his face and drying his face. As he looked back down at the glasses, he felt something wet slide down his cheeks and a few more drops hitting his glasses. 

Kasper put them back on his head and he used his white shirt sleeve to wipe away the tears. “Shit, I’m sorry kid, I don’t mean to be a downer,” he said. He looked down at the candle, no longer seeing a gentle flame flickering there. Maybe it was time for him to leave, pack the stuff up and clean them before coming back again. 

He didn’t utter another word as he folded the white lab coat, tucking it into the bag and then packing the glass flasks away on top of it. He stood up, looking down at the grey stone and reading the words _Rest in Peace, Alastyr Cross._

“ _I would never let you die._ ” Kasper whispered the words, biting his lip to stifle a sob. “I would never let you die, kid. What a lousy promise I made to you. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I wouldn’t forgive myself for what happened.” He put his hand on the stone and for the first time since he visited this grave, he fell to his knees and let the tears fall.


End file.
